HILARIOUS.
Via Joe. My. God.
Dying* is easy, monogamy is hard.
One day we’re gonna put screw and screw together and realize that the problem is our unrealistic and unnatural fixation on monogamy and not that “some men just can’t keep it in their pants.” Human beings aren’t wired to be sexually monogamous—male or female—and the feigned shock with which we’re required to greet each new revelation of infidelity on the part of an elected official, a reality-show star, or a sports figure would be comical if the costs weren’t so great. Elevating monogamy over all else—insisting that it, and it alone, is true love’s only marker—destroys marriages and families and careers.
Which is not to say that anything goes and that people shouldn’t be expected to honor their commitments and that there aren’t folks out there who’re capable of remaining monogamous over the three, four, five, or six decade course of a marriage. But think of all the people who’ve cheated and gotten caught. Now think about all the people who’ve cheated and gotten away with it. Our ideals about the place of sex within marriage are at war with who and what we are. They’re at war with reality. Sex is powerful, relationships are fragile. Why on earth do we insist on pitting them against each other?
* Physically, politically.
If I was to go back to college, I think I would study the history of monogamy.
Today’s GOP hypocrisy is courtesy of South Carolina Republican Governor Mark Sanford.
Mark Sanford last graced this blog’s pages when he announced that he wasn’t going to take any of Obama’s (dirty, socialist) stimulus money.
For the last week, however, Sanford has been in the news for going AWOL without his security detail. Neither his staff nor security team knew where he was (good job, guys) nor did his wife or four children, even though his absence included Father’s Day. Sanford at first said he went hiking on the Appalachian Trail to relieve stress but was later caught in the airport coming back from Argentina.
Why was he in Argentina?
To see his mistress, of course.
Sanford apologized blah, blah, blah and will resign as head of the Republican Governor’s Association but not the governorship. He was favored to run for president in 2012.
Hypocrisy point #1: Sanford was a firm supporter of South Carolina’s Defense of Marriage Act (The Gays are attacking it!), voted to ban gay adoptions, and is even opposed to civil unions.
Hypocrisy point #2: Sanford voted to make English the official language of the United States. (As Dan Savage asks, “Was English the official language of your extramarital affair? Or did your Argentine mistress beg for your cock in Spanish?”)
I can’t believe these fucktwits want to manage the sex and reproductive lives of Americans. Will they ever get off their high goddamn horse?
In case you don’t follow the editorials at CNN.com, there’s a great little back-and-forth bitch-slap extravaganza going on that you really should tune in to.
It started on February 10th, when Democratic strategist Paul Begala wrote an editorial stating that Republican strategy for economic recovery was simply, “deny, delay, and do nothing.” Well, South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford – a “rising star in the GOP” – didn’t like that very much, so he wrote an editorial three days later pleading, “Don’t Mortgage Our Children’s Futures” (Think of the children!). Well, Begala decided to up the ante and posed a “oh-no-you-din’nt” challenge to Sanford and other Republicans who oppose the stimulus:
If Republican politicians are so deeply opposed to President Obama’s economic recovery plan, they should refuse to take the money. After all, if you think all that federal spending is damaging, there are easy ways to reduce it: Don’t take federal money.
[…]
Justice Louis Brandeis famously called states “laboratories of democracy.” So let’s experiment. Gov. Sanford can be the guinea pig. His Palmetto State already gets $1.35 back from Washington for every dollar it pays in federal taxes, according to 2005 numbers, the latest calculated by the Tax Foundation, a nonprofit tax research group.
South Carolina is a ward of the federal government. It’s been on welfare for years. If Gov. Sanford is so all-fired opposed to federal spending, let’s start by cutting federal spending in South Carolina. Otherwise, he’s got about as much credibility on fiscal conservatism as A-Rod has on steroids.
Under the Bush-Sanford economic theories, South Carolina’s unemployment rate has reached 9.5 percent — among the highest in the nation. But if Gov. Sanford wants to continue those policies, good luck to him.
Obviously, I don’t think there are any Republicans that would actually refuse to take the Federal money to which they are so opposed but it would be awesome to see them walk the walk by refusing federal money and instead focusing solely on tax cuts.
From CNN.com:
Republican Strategy Of Deny, Delay And Do Nothing (Begala, Feb. 10)
Don’t Mortgage Our Children’s Future (Sanford, Feb. 13)
If You Oppose Stimulus, Don’t Take The Money (Begala, Feb. 16)
Thanks, Slog.