Quoted: Dan Savage

dan SavageDan Savage:

Dying* is easy, monogamy is hard.

One day we’re gonna put screw and screw together and realize that the problem is our unrealistic and unnatural fixation on monogamy and not that “some men just can’t keep it in their pants.” Human beings aren’t wired to be sexually monogamous—male or female—and the feigned shock with which we’re required to greet each new revelation of infidelity on the part of an elected official, a reality-show star, or a sports figure would be comical if the costs weren’t so great. Elevating monogamy over all else—insisting that it, and it alone, is true love’s only marker—destroys marriages and families and careers.

Which is not to say that anything goes and that people shouldn’t be expected to honor their commitments and that there aren’t folks out there who’re capable of remaining monogamous over the three, four, five, or six decade course of a marriage. But think of all the people who’ve cheated and gotten caught. Now think about all the people who’ve cheated and gotten away with it. Our ideals about the place of sex within marriage are at war with who and what we are. They’re at war with reality. Sex is powerful, relationships are fragile. Why on earth do we insist on pitting them against each other?

* Physically, politically.

If I was to go back to college, I think I would study the history of monogamy.


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