He stole the last election. Ninety-four percent of the country is unemployed. Seven million citizens survive only on international food aid. Inflation is off-the-charts. And now he’s coercing his citizens into funding his birthday “wish” list (US dollars only, obviously):
2,000 bottles of champagne — Moët & Chandon and ’61 Bollinger
500 bottles of whisky — Johnny Walker Blue Label, 22-year-old Chivas
100kg king prawns
4,000 portions of caviar
8,000 boxes of Ferrero Rocher
3,000 cakes — chocolate and vanilla
4,000 packs of pork sausages
4,000 packets of crackers
A postscript adds: “No mealie meal” — the ground corn staple on which the vast majority of Zimbabweans survived until the country’s collapse rendered even that a luxury.
On a lighter note, read Robert Mugabe’s Dickipedia page:
In essence, Mugabe is that guy who shows up at your party and seems really cool at first, but then, somehow, gets way too drunk, stays after everyone leaves, and then hits on your girlfriend by asking her if she wants to shoot a homemade porno.